Friday, July 29, 2005

Halcyon 2005 on flickr

It's been a week since the craziness, and I'm still smiling.

Love. pure-unadulterated-love. And dirt.



These pics don't even do it no justice. But enjoy....

LINK!

Falling woman

Just click it.

Happy Friday!!!

A Friday Hai Ku

Frustations to blog
Post No Blogs I have missed you
So easy yet not

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Lovely Bones

Karen Greenlee is a necrophiliac. Five years ago she made national headlines when she drove off in a hearse and wasn't heard from for two days. Instead of delivering the body to the cemetery she decided to spend some time alone with the corpse. Eventually, the police found her in the next county, overdosed on codeine Tylenol. She was charged with illegally driving a hearse and interfering with the burial (there is no law in California against necrophilia). In the casket with the body Karen left a four-and-a-half page letter confessing to amorous episodes with between twenty to forty dead men. The letter was filled with remorse over her sexual desires: "Why do I do it? Why? Why? Fear of love, relationships. No romance ever hurt like this ... It's the pits. I'm a morgue rat. This is my rathole, perhaps my grave."


The Unrepentant Necrophile

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Meet Black Diamond



"It all started at eleven years old, when the two hundredth Caucasion lady leaned over the back of the church pew and said, 'young man, you sound just like Neil Diamond'. Unbeknownst to me, it was at that moment the Black Diamond show was born!"

link

Does anyone else read Slashdot, or am I the only dork??

Trying to find the good comments on slash lately is like trying to find protein in a vegan shit. Alterslash.org cuts out the microsoft/apple flame-baiting and all of the other BS by posting only the top five most relevent comments. And aside from the fugly blue-underlined links, it looks nicer, too.

Yay.

link

Friday, July 22, 2005

these bikes are made for ridin'

Make Your Own (fug-but-functional) Bike Rack, for mikebob



Fits in the back of your truck to carry three bikes in style.
Time needed = about 1 hour. Total Cost = Under $20.

Materials Needed:

30 feet 1" schedule 40 PVC pipe
18 connecting T’s
6 90-degree connectors (elbows)
PVC pipe cement

blonk

Those Infectious Grooves: The Katamari Song, Translated.

This blue planet spins so peacefully
Yet the sadness never goes away

Why do we keep hurting one another?
When all it takes is a little kindness, a little understanding?

LOVE. Connect with one another
Then our hearts will beat as one
TRY. We want to roll everything in
Then we can all be together
Don't stop, let the love flow
Then we will be together forever

Do you see this is our planet?
Such a beautiful star...
There are just a few things we need in order for it to shine,
All we need is: Love for the Green Mother
A well balanced diet
Plenty of sleep
And nice tan to boot!

With empty hearts, we cannot be as one

LOVE. Connect with one another
Despite the walls that exist between us
TRY. we want to roll everything in,
Roll in even the broken hearts

LOVE. We should all be rolled in as one

Ah! We shall all become bright shining stars!

link

Thursday, July 21, 2005

This guy is really, REALLY impartial to Tonya Harding.



Merks, here's the website of that artist from the uh.. new-age dirt-eating yoga magazine you let me borrow.

linky-dink

Monday, July 18, 2005

These guys really, REALLY like Tonya Harding



"It's been a long ten years since the Olympics and Lillehammer. The Fantasy area is all in fun and is not to be taken seriously.

So, these Fantasies are just for adults. We hope you have a sense of humor about it all ..."

link

Sucks to be this guy . . .



He Brakes For Midgets
Sartorial statement from a Florida DUI arrestee

JULY 14--Since you usually can't anticipate an arrest for drunk driving, a motorist does not have the luxury of planning a wardrobe for the mug shot session. Floridian Jon Matteson, who last month pleaded no contest to a reckless driving count, knows all about that predicament. The 28-year-old was wearing a rather distinctive t-shirt when he posed for the below Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office mug shot following his December 2004 DUI arrest. We're sure Matteson was more appropriately attired in Circuit Court on June 1, when he was sentenced to a year's probation, fined $775, and ordered to perform 50 hours of community service.

link

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Sprout a Couch

Oh, I if only had a lawn...


Sprout a Link

Merkin's Song of the Moment

Updated now.

This is an exclusive track by The Old Man feat. The Old Woman.

Play it, then play it again.
DooWet.mp3


(yo mike, can we get a server for this? It's on yousendit, so it'll only be up for 7 days.)
Get it while you can, folks!

Friday, July 15, 2005

Emily bares it all, I am flipping out.

I haven't seen most of you for quite some time, and it's a bit slow today, so I figure i'd write a little something...for you guys.

I shaved my head again. No one seem to have noticed. Xela and Bright Eyes are wafting out of my speakers, a telltale sign of things to come. None of the zombies seem to mind. They all seem to be floating in their own little imaginary paddleboats, daydreaming about beaching their loose, pale skin on Florida shores.

At the time of this writing, Emily is still around, fucking the entire state of Texas.

Things are so very unright. Everyone feels it. Everyone knows it. But no one wants to talk about it.

Instead, they gossip to pass the time. I can't blame them, as it is not their fault. Everyone is just so very, very scared. Who wouldn't be? If you can't see what's coming, only feel it?

I've been half-expecting this myself, and have actually been doing a pretty decent job at it, filling up sand bags. Stashing canned goods. Smoking a lot of pot.
Most of the time, though, nothing happens. At least, not on the surface. The storm passes, my hair's a mess (or it's comepletely gone at times), and things are calm again. And everything is back to normal. Only it's not.

But we don't know that yet. Today, it's Texas' turn.

......

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Luxor - the new Snood (tm)

If playing this game was a habit, I'd be dead.
Luxor

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Where was I when this came out?

....oh yeah, in high school.

"ZAIREEKA from Flaming Lips is their experimental release from 1997. It consists of 4 CDs that can be played in any combination, though it is best heard when you play all 4 CDs at the same time. Yes, that requires 4 CD players/amps and a minimum of 8 speakers to achieve the full effect, but believe me, it is well worth it."

jesus, the things we miss only because we're not listening hard enough.
(Or maybe the trains growling every half hour in my backyard drowned everything else out?)
LINK LINK LINK LINK

Monday, July 11, 2005

Humans with Tails



Seeing is believing . . .

link

History of the Vibrator



Slideshow included!

link

Sunday, July 10, 2005

mike's song of the minute...

...because unlike merkins, my moments are compartmentalized and predefined.

Even better when open in multiple windows! Five! Ten! More! More! More!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Amoureux jaloux? Vous étes <3 å fucking skank?


...Then get yourself a spy-phone!

This French company hawks real(?) Nokia phones that you would 'accidentally' leave 'somewhere'. You would then call the phone (it won't ring), and hope it's not being pawned off by the bitter ex you've been spying on. And as you listen in on her low, breathy, guttural moans as she repeatedly bangs her head on the headboard, you know you've made a sound investment.


Spy-phone

Funny stuff . . .

Men in Coats

Happy Friday!!!

GTA mini games







"Last month some ingenious modder-types released a modification to the PC version of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that unlocked some previously unplayable mini-games that were apparently intended to play during the date sequences in the game. The mini-game, if you missed it in the headline, is of course sexual in nature and more to the point is accompanied by some rather graphic animations."

link

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Dr. Miller's EEG


" No... that's not the mandolin, it's his brain!"

WARNING: site contains 18-point Hot Pink Arial in bold
Link

Dirty Sanchez clip

aka Maybe Its On Cable, Which I Don't Have

too lazy to add descript.
just make sure you're not eating anything and enjoy the clip!

JUST CLICK!

YouSendIt, IGetIt

YouSendIt | Link

Email files up to 1 gig! its like a virtual flash drive! but not! awesome!

Genetic Geniuses

A (failed) experiment in 'positive eugenics' -- using Nobelists to boost inherited IQ.

"...Graham feared that, in late-20th-century America, "cradle-to-grave social welfare programs paid incompetents and imbeciles to reproduce. As a result, 'retrograde humans' were swamping the intelligent minority." The only way to save mankind was for the best intellectual "specimens" of the species to reproduce at a higher rate. And the best way to make that happen was to have the planet's brightest -- Nobel Prize-winners -- donate their genetic material for the betterment of humanity. "Ten men of high intelligence," Graham mused, "can be more effective than 1,000 morons." He envisioned replacing Darwin's natural selection with "intelligent selection."

Hitler has a posse.

In other (contrasting, but related) news, Darwin has a (new) posse (!111!!!).



WSJ.com - Turbulence in the Gene Pool -Article link

peaked vs piqued vs aliens

I was reading this interesting LJ entry about google maps and area 51, but the thing that 'piqued' my interest even more was the hilarious comments about correct grammar usage.

It's WTF-worthy.

The comment that started the thread:

------
(Anonymous)
2005-04-13 21:37

"Anyway, with my interest peaked, I decided to check out the controversial technology."

The word you were looking for is 'piqued'
From OneLook dictionaries (http://www.onelook.com/):

peaked
(adj.) having or rising to a peak (Example: "The peaked ceiling")

piqued
(tr.v.) To provoke; arouse (Example: "The portrait piqued her curiosity")


theunexplained: So tonight I spied on Area 51. Link.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Dial-up porn. (for christian)



http://www.asciipr0n.com

Old(est) Sk00l B1ke Trix, Burlesque, and Other Variety Motion Pix, 1897-1920



Bicycle Trick Riding, no. 2, brought to you by Tommy Edison.

http://memory.loc.gov/mbrs/varsmp/
Check under 'Film List' for other groovy movies.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

J-TV

We'll need more than one camera. Three would be ideal. This place offers camera rentals for $100 a day, including tripod & everything else needed. We only need a day to shoot. Split between us, the rental costs would come about close to what we'd spend getting shitfaced at a tacky bar on a work night.

What a Drag.

Ahh... feeling nerdy, popping bonar over a Firefox extension. Merkin, you'll definitely dig this morsel of supreme laziness:-- Super DragAndGo -- Highlight text, drag it about an inch in any direction, let go of mouse button. If it's a link, it'll open in a new window. If it's just text, it'll open the google search results for it. If you drag an image, it'll save it to your download folder. gravy.

linklinklinklinklink

Friday, July 01, 2005

Summer movies; DIY IMAX

Camping season is here, bitches, and that might just prod me a bit to step out of the damp hole that is my windowless basement into the excitingly hot and humid outdoors.

The main goal for this year, i think, is to top the inflamous HAMMOCK incident of last year and go all out and ridiculous. Buying something so superflous, but totally fuckin rock at the same time would be a decent start. Why the hell not? If there's gonna be pre-camp drama, it better be worth it. I'm talkin IMAX-worth-it.

So i found this website that sells IMAX movies for $4.99 a pop. That's a sweet bargain, but a silly bargain if you're going to screen them in a 20" CRT. No no no. That's like buying fly ass alligator-skin shoes and wearing them to LUNA LOUNGE. Completely foolish (or toolish). Sides, who'd want to lug a CRT to a campsite anyway?
what we need is this: The Optoma - MovieTime DV10 Home Theater Projector. Sounds sexy already, no? It's a DVD player/projector with high lumens, high contrast rate, and a sexy ass form factor. All for just $1500. It's not exactly roughin it, but it would still rock the mosquitoes off your shit. Just imagine this: 'Microcosmos' projected onto a 10' sheet in the middle of the woods, by the stream, eating wild mushrooms fried in leftover kielbasi grease, anyone?

no?

you guys suck.




IMAX for cheap

Top 25 Questions Scientists Still Don't Know The Answers To

from Science magazine:

> What is the Biological Basis of Consciousness?
> Why Do Humans Have So Few Genes?
> To What Extent Are Genetic Variation and Personal Health Linked?
> Can the Laws of Physics Be Unified?
> How Much Can Human Life Span Be Extended?
> What Controls Organ Regeneration?
> How Can a Skin Cell Become a Nerve Cell?
> How Does a Single Somatic Cell Become a Whole Plant?
> How Does Earth's Interior Work?
> Are We Alone in the Universe?
> How and Where Did Life on Earth Arise?
> What Determines Species Diversity?
> What Genetic Changes Made Us Uniquely Human?
> How Are Memories Stored and Retrieved?
> How Did Cooperative Behavior Evolve?
> How Will Big Pictures Emerge from a Sea of Biological Data?
> How Far Can We Push Chemical Self-Assembly?
> What Are the Limits of Conventional Computing?
> Can We Selectively Shut Off Immune Responses?
> Do Deeper Principles Underlie Quantum Uncertainty and Nonlocality?
> Is an Effective HIV Vaccine Feasible?
> How Hot Will the Greenhouse World Be?
> What Can Replace Cheap Oil -- and When?
> Will Malthus Continue to Be Wrong?

We've finally figured out how to make 8 terazillion bits stand up (vertical storage = more space = wow! pshaw) on end and fit themselves onto a quarter inch disk like mexican kids stuffed in a powerpuff piñata, and we still havent figured out what to replace cheap oil with. This planet's pri-oritas is so fucking BEAT.

125th Anniversary Issue: Science Online Special Feature: ">What Is the Universe Made Of?

The Phallic Logo Awards



link