Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

click me

Friday, December 30, 2005

"I hope you will be king one day..."


Fingering anger

BBC NEWS : Finger length 'key to aggression': "The length of a man's fingers can reveal how physically aggressive he is, Canadian scientists have said."

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 having a thousand ears

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

So what if you threw a riot and nobody came?


Passing on the torch...

Happy Birthday, mikewho!
(click on pic for a surprise!)

Sunday, December 25, 2005

On the 26th of December ninteen hundred and eighty one a Merkin was born...

Happy Birthday!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Double Feature Finder

Site allows you to find back to back features at your local movie theaters. Now you can plan a whole day at the movies!

Olde English - Gym Class

via Google Video

Thursday, December 22, 2005

One of these is not like the other...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Urban Ninja/Joe Higashi


Monday, December 19, 2005

You know your boss is beat when...

Lawyer claims bathroom cam was to catch pot smokers

By Heather Yakin
Times Herald-Record

Monticello - Lawyer Larry Gold says he had a good reason to install a minicamera in the bathroom at his law office, where his three secretaries are women.

People were smoking pot in the office bathroom, he said, and he wanted to catch the culprit.

The camera caught a secretary using the toilet. She spotted the camera and went to Monticello police. They charged Gold, a lawyer since 1989, with three counts of unlawful surveillance, a felony.

Yesterday in Sullivan County Court, Gold took the stand in his own defense as his lawyer, Henri Shawn, guided him. Gold broke down in tears as he talked about losing 80 percent of his clients after the arrest.

Gold said a friend installed a surveillance camera in 1999. Transients had been stealing from his office at 2 Jones St., which is located between the Heritage Inn and the Salvation Army.

Gold said he wanted the camera to watch the entry stairs, but the friend put it in the bathroom. A secretary found it the next day. Gold disconnected the camera, but left the wires in place, running under baseboard heaters through the hallway to his office.

In early 2004, he said, he found signs of people smoking pot in the bathroom. A commercial client complained that he couldn't bring people there for business if that was going on.

Gold said he set up the camera again on Feb. 17, 2004, duct-taping it to a plastic pipe behind the toilet in the 4-foot-by-4-foot bathroom. He hooked a TV to the other end of the cable in his office.

Later, he heard the bathroom door close, and he flipped on the TV. He saw one of his secretaries. She saw the camera and put a towel over it. He said he was mortified.

Under cross-examination by Assistant District Attorney K.C. Garn, Gold said he didn't know the camera was illegal.

"I knew what I was doing was risky. There was a chance someone would go to the bathroom and I would see their rear end or genitals," he said. He said that he should have looked for a better camera, one that would have shown the entire bathroom.

"I was selfish by not thinking about the potential consequences," he said.

The trial continues today before Judge Jonathan Nichol


will jackson ever get a break?....

Sunday, December 18, 2005

You have to wonder who had the time to do all this, i also added my 2 cents....

"i'm Just saying though" check out number 200.

Merkin: can we do number 34

Snapple Facts

#1 A Goldfish's attention span is three seconds
we all know some people like this

#2 Animals that lay eggs don't have belly buttons
lets think about this one i mean how do u get a belly button ...

#3 Beavers can hold their breathe for 45 minutes under water
i know a few beavers that can go longer

#4 Slugs have 4 noses

#5 Camels have 3 eyelids

#6 A honey bee can fly at 15mph

#7 A queen bee can lay 800-1500 eggs per day

#8 A bee has 5 eyes
enough with the bees

#9 The average speed of a housefly is 4.5 mph

#10 Mosquitoes are attracted to people who just ate bananas
and the bugs

#11 Flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp
i knew that

#12 Emus and Kangaroos cannot walk backward

#13 Cats have over 100 vocal chor

#14 Camel's milk does not curdle

#15 All porcupines float in water

#16 The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1

#17 A hummingbird weighs less then a penny

#18 A jellyfish is 95% water

#19 Children grow faster in the spring

#20 Broccoli is the only vegetable that is also a flower

#21 Almonds are part of the peach family

#22 Alaska has the highest percentage of people who walk to work

#23 The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile national monument

#24 The state of Maine has 62 lighthouses

#25 The only food that does not spoil is honey

#26 The Hawaiian alphabet only has 12 letters

#27 A ball of glass will bounce higher then a ball of rubber

#28 Chewing gum while peeling onions will prevent you from crying
note to self...

#29 On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime

#30 Fish have eyelids

#31 The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping
i thought this was a rumor but it must be true its on a snapple cap

#32 There is one million ants to every human in the world

#33 Termites eat through wood two times faster when listening to rock music!

#34 If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white.
we have to do this Merkin

#35 Elephants only sleep 2 hours a day

#36 A duck's quack doesn't echo

#37 A snail breathes through its foot

#38 Fish cough.

#39 An ant's smell is stronger then a dog's

#40 It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down

#41 Shrimp can only swim backward

#42 Frogs cannot swallow with their eyes open

#43 A cat's lower jaw cannot move sideways

#44 The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps

#45 Elephants are capable of swimming 20 miles per day

#46 Elephants are the only mammal that cannot jump

#47 Giraffes have no vocal chords

#48 Cats can hear ultrasound

#49 Despite its hump...camels has a straight spine

#50 Mosquitoes have 47 teeth

#51 There is 63,360 inches in a mile

#52 11% of people in the world are left-handed

53 The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime

#54 The average smell weighs 760 nanograms *

#55 A human brain weighs about 3lbs

#56 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet

#57 You blink over 10,000,000 times a year

#58 A sneeze travels out of your nose at 100mph

#59 Brain waves can be used to power an electric train

#60 The tongue is the fastest healing part of the body
2 days peirced.

#61 Pigs get sunburn

#62 The lifespan of a taste bud is 10 days

#63 The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime

#64 Strawberries contain more Vitamin C then oranges

#65 A one-day weather forecast requires about 10 billion math calculations

#66 Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day

#67 There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal cracker zoo

#68 The longest one syllable word is "screeched"

#69 No word in the English language rhymes with month
conth isn't a word.

#70 A "jiffy" is actually 1/100 of a second

#71 There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia

#72 The average person uses 150 gallons of water per day for personal use

#73 The average person spends 2 weeks of its life waiting for a traffic light to change

#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world

#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year

#76 The average person spends 2 years on the phone in his/her lifetime
i have this beat!

#77 No piece of paper can be folded more then 7 times

#78 Alaska is the most eastern and western state in the US

#79 There are 119 grooves on the edge of a quarter
who counted this

#80 About 18% of Animal owners share their bed with their pet

#81 Alaska has more caribou then people

#82 August has the highest percent of births

#83 Googol is a number (1 followed by 100 zeros)

#84 Oysters can change genders back and forth

#85 The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows

#86 Until the 19th century solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia

#87 A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance

#88 A ten gallon hat holds less then one gallon of liquid

#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day

#90 The average raindrop falls at 7mph

#91 There are more telephones than people in Washington D.C.

#92 Fish can drown

#93 A Kangaroo can jump 30 feet

#94 Lizards communicate by doing push-ups

#95 Squids can have eyeballs the size of volleyballs

#96 The average American will eat 35,000 cookies in his/her lifetime

#97 A turkey can run at 20mph

#98 When the moon is directly over you, you weigh less

#99 You burn 20 calories an hour chewing gum

#100 In a year, the average person walks 4 miles making their bed

#101 About half of all Americans are on a diet at any given time

#102 A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories

#103 Frowning burns more calories then smiling

#104 There are more then 30,000 diets on public record

#105 You will burn 7% more calories walking on hard dirt then pavement

#106 You way less at the top of a mountain then sea level

#107 You burn more calories sleeping then watching TV

#108 Licking a stamp burns 10 calories

#109 Smelling apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight

#110 Frogs never drink

#111 Only male turkeys gobble

#112 At birth, a Dalmation is always pure white

#113 The fastest recorded speed of a racehorse was over 43 mph

#114 The oldest known animal was a tortoise, which lived to be 152 years old

#115 Bamboo makes up 99% of a panda's diet

#116 The largest fish is the whale shark - It can be over 50 feet long and weigh 2 tons

#117 The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out

#118 Honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans

#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards

#120 The only continent without native reptiles or snakes is Antarctica

#121 The only bird that can swim and not fly is a penguin

#122 A duck can't walk without bobbing its head

#123 Beavers were once the size of bears

#124 Seals sleep only one and a half minutes at a time

#125 Pigeons have been trained by the U.S. Coast Guard to spot people lost at sea

#126 A pigeon's feathers are heavier than its bones

#127 A hummingbird's heart beats 1,400 times a minute

#128 Dragonflies have six legs but can't walk

#129 Mosquitos have 47 teeth

#130 Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints

#131 Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater to fresh water
thats why i love em...

#132 A crocodile cannot move its tongue

#133 Honeybees navigate by using the sun as a compass

#134 An ant can lift 50 times its own weight

#135 A single coffee tree produces only about a pound of coffee beans per year

#136 Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside

#137 The city of Los Angeles has three times more automobiles than people

#138 Hawaii is the only U.S. state that grows coffee

#139 Hawaii is the only state with one school district

#140 Holland is the only country with a national dog

#141 The square dance is the official dance of the state of Washington

#142 Hawaii is the only U.S. state never to report a temperature of zero degrees F or below

#143 "Q" is the only letter in the alphabet not appearing in the name of any U.S. state

#144 Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space

#145 Lake Superior is the world's largest lake

#146 The smallest county in America is New York County, better known as Manhattan

#147 Panama is the only place in the world where you can see the sun rise on the Pacific and set on the Atlantic

#148 The tallest man was 8 ft. 11 in

#149 Theodore Roosevelt was the only president who was blind in one eye

#150 The first sport to be filmed was boxing in 1894

#151 The fastest served ball in tennis was clocked at 154 mph in 1963

#152 In 1985, the fastest bicyclist was clocked at 154 mph

#153 The speed limit in NYC was 8 mph in 1895

#154 Americans spend more than $630 million a year on golf balls

#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC

#156 Swimming pools in the U.S. contain enough water to cover San Francisco

#157 The first TV soap opera debuted in 1946

#158 The first MTV video was "Video Killed the Radio Star," by the Buggles

#159 The first TV show ever to be put into reruns was "The Lone Ranger"

#160 One alternative title that had been considered for NBC's hit "Friends" was "Insomnia Cafe"

#161 The first TV network kids show in the U.S. was "Captain Kangaroo"

#162 The temperature of the sun can reach up to 15 million degrees fahrenheit

#163 The first penny had the motto "Mind your own business"

#164 The first vacuum was so large, it was brought to a house by horses

#165 Panama is the only place in the world where you can see the sun rise

#166 Before mercury, brandy was used to fill thermometers

#167 You have to play ping-pong for 12 hours to lose one pound

#168 One brow wrinkle is the result of 200,000 frowns

#169 The first human-made object to break the sound barrier was a whip

#170 In 1878, the first telephone book ever issued contained only 50 names

#171 The most sensetive parts of the body are the mouth and the fingertips

#172 The eye makes movements 50 times every second

#173 Chinese is the most spoken language in the world

#174 The world's biggest pyramid is not in Egypt, but in Mexico

#175 In 1634, tulip bulbs were a form of currency in Holland

#176 The first bike was called a hobbyhorse

#177 The first sailing boats were built in Egypt

#178 The first ballpoint pens were sold in 1945 for $12.00

#179 The first lighthouse to use electricity was the Statue of Liberty in 1886

#180 The first VCR was made in 1956 and was the size of a piano

#181 The first jukebox was located in San Francisco in 1899

#182 A rainbow can only be seen in the morning or late afternoon

#183 The Capitol building in Washington DC has 365 steps to represent every day of the year

#184 The most used letters in the English language are E, T, A, O, I and N

#185 A male kangaroo is called a Boomer

#186 A female kangaroo is called a flyer

#187 There are over 61,000 pizzerias in the U.S

#188 Antarctica is the driest, coldest, windiest, and highest continent on earth

#189 The Sahara Desert stretches father than the distance from California to New York

#190 Thailand means "Land of the Free"

#191 Popcorn was invented by the American Indians

#192 Jupiter spins so fast that there is a new sunrise nearly every ten hours

#193 The year that read the same upside down was 1961. That won't happen again until 6009

#194 You don't have to be a lawyer to be a Supreme Court Justice

#195 Eleven of the fifty states are named after and actual person

#196 If you doubled one penny every day for 30 days, you would have $5, 368, 709

#197 The first person crossed Niagra Falls by tightrope in 1859

#198 The US is the largest country names after an actual person (Amerigo Vespucci)

#199 The largest cheesecake ever-made weighed 57,508 lbs

#200 The first country to use postcards was Austria

Friday, December 16, 2005

hey, 'accidents' happen.

"Plaintiff was sitting at her desk doing the work she was given earlier that day when Mr. Garcia came up behind her,' her civil suit says. 'He asked Ms. Roberts to turn around, and when she did, defendant proceeded to ejaculate onto her and her clothing. Mr. Garcia apologized and stated that he did not mean to do that. "

Link to full article

Can someone please explain:

Stupid quotes from some of our fav. people...

Link to more

"I invented the internet".

- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

Nice X mas Gift for all the gamers out there.

If you click on "Shop" they have more to choose from.

Hands on Mr. Winky

... Is it b/c he's sleeping cause i see plenty of guys doing this while awake? Does it bring you back to the fetal stages when you were all girls at one point? Or is this b/c he's sleeping alone and doesnt have a girl to hold it for him? Can u even notice whats going on in this picture over that belly sticking least he has a good sence of style...his underwear matches his shirt which matches
the couch which his pants compliment.

Remember Ken Jennings from Jepardy? I must have missed this one


Plants like Techno


Thursday, December 15, 2005

Iron and whoa...

good show, btw...i'll post pics later!

Photoshop fun with . . .

Karate Girl!!!


My new tattoo

You like?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

good for her

What to make of this?

for Christian

video on how Nintendo's freaky new controller works


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Yakov ate his Wheaties this morning...

Crazy Russian climber dude does some crazy shit!


Feast of St. Manky

ST. MANKY, Patron Saint of Libations, Fertility, and Good Fun.

She was Martyr'd at The Hatch when her Great Devotion to All Things Awesome withstood the Cruelty and Embarrassment of Wagging Tongues and Whipped Cream.

She holds the Symbol of Little Lamb Leroy as a sign of great Empathy towards her fellow Imbibers.

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Sometimes I think god gave us flash games the same reason he gave us crack.

what is going on here?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Banned from Disneyland

"One foot in front of the other, through leaves, over bridges..."

Today is unlike any other day. Today is a devious, mean, and ominously pretty day. If today was a person, it would be like Scarlett Johanson, but like, really cold. Without lips. Something is in the air, something strange. SO far: After waking up from surviving a lucid-dream-induced suicide, getting to the train station hlaf-asleep and half blind, I find myself in NYC, staring at a man holding his right knee and in obvious pain, laying in the middle of 33rd street. He is flanked by two police officers so useless, you could've mistaken them for fat NYC pigeons with walkie-talkies. And then there was this Korean guy in a blue suit wearing amber-tinted ski goggles FLYING past my entire peripheral vision...

now the last thing i need is to hear The Song*. Something terrible always happens when I hear it, and sing along to, which I can't help. It's like a personal Song of the Sirens for me.

eventually, i did get to work ok**. made myself a cup of tea, sat down, and read a good story. It made me feel slightly better so I'll share it with you:

hey had grown up next door to each other, on the fringe of a city, near fields and woods and orchards, within sight of a lovely bell tower that belonged to a school for the blind.
Now they were twenty, had not seen each other for nearly a year. There had always ben playful, comfortable warmth between them, but never any talk of love.

His name was Newt. Her name was Catharine. In the early afternoon, Newt knocked on Catharine's front door.

Catharine came to the door. She was carrying a fat, glossy magazine she had been reading. The magazine was devoted entirely to brides. "Newt!" she said. She was surprised to see him.
"Could you come for a walk?" he said. He was a shy person, even with Catharine. He covered his shyness by speaking absently as though what really concerned him were far away--as though he were a secret agent pausing briefly on a mission between beautiful, distant, and sinister points. This manner of speaking had always been Newt's style, even in matters that concerned him desperately.
"A walk?" said Catharine.
"One foot in front of the other," said Newt, "through leaves, over bridges---"
"I had no idea you were in town," she said.
"Just this minute got in," he said.
"Still in the Army, I see," she said.
"Seven months more to go," he said. He was a private first class in the Artillery. His uniform was rumpled. His shoes were dusty. He needed a shave. He held out his hand for the magazine. "Let's see the pretty book," he said.
She gave it to him. "I'm getting married, Newt," she said.
"I know," he said. "Let's go for a walk."
"I'm awfully busy, Newt," she said. "The wedding is only a week away."
"If we go for a walk," he said, "it will make you rosy. It will make you a rosy bride." He turned the pages of the magazine. "A rosy bride like her--like her--like her," he said, showing her rosy brides.
Catharine turned rosy, thinking about rosy brides.
"That will be my present to Henry Stewart Chasens," said Newt. "By taking you for a walk, I'll be giving him a rosy bride."
"You know his name?" she said.
"Mother wrote," he said. "From Pittsburgh?"
"Yes," she said. "You'd like him."
"Maybe," he said.
"Can--can you come to the wedding, Newt?" she said.
"That I doubt," he said.
"Your furlough isn't for long enough?" she said.
"Furlough?" said Newt. He was studying a two page ad for flat silver. "I'm not on furlough," he said.
"Oh?" she said.
"I'm what they call A.W.O.L.," said Newt.
"Oh, Newt! You're not!" she said.
"Sure I am," he said, still looking at the magazine.
"Why, Newt?" she said.
"I had to find out what your silver pattern is," he said. He read names of silver patterns from the magazine. Albemarle? Heather?" he said. "Legend? Rambler Rose?" He looked up, smiled. "I plan to give you and your husband a spoon," he said.
"Newt, Newt--tell me really," she said.
"I want to go for a walk," he said.
She wrung her hands in sisterly anguish. "Oh, Newt--you're fooling me about being A.W.O.L.," she said.
Newt imitated a police siren softly, and raised his eyebrows.
"Where--where from?"
"Fort Bragg," he said.
"North Carolina?" she said.
"That's right," he said. "Near Fayetteville--where Scarlet O'Hara went to school."
"How did you get here, Newt?" she said.
He raised his thumb, jerked it in a hitchhike gesture. "Two days," he said.
"Does your mother know?" she said.
"I didn't come to see my mother," he told her.
"Who did you come to see?" she said.
"You," he said.
"Why me?" she said.
"Because I love you," he said. "Now can we take a walk?" he said. "One foot in front of the other--through leaves, over bridges--"

They were taking the walk now, were in a woods with a brown-leaf floor.
Catharine was angry and rattled, close to tears. "Newt," she said, "this is absolutely crazy."
"How so?" said Newt.
"What a crazy time to tell me you love me," she said. "You never talked that way before." She stopped walking.
"Let's keep walking," he said.
"No," she said. "So far, no farther. I shouldn't have come out with you at all," she said.
"You did," he said.
"To get you out of the house," she said. "If somebody walked in and heard you talking to me
that way, a week before the wedding--"
"What would they think?" he said.
"They'd think you were crazy," she said.
"Why?" he said
Catharine took a deep breath, made a speech. "Let me say that I'm deeply honored by this
crazy thing you've done," she said. "I can't believe you're really A.W.O.L., but maybe you are. I
can't believe you really love me, but maybe you do. But--"
"I do," said Newt.
"Well, I'm deeply honored," said Catharine, "and I'm very fond of you as a friend, Newt,
extremely fond--but it's just too late." She took a step away from him. "You've never even kissed
me," she said, and she protected herself with her hands. "I don't mean you should do it now. I just
mean that this is all so unexpected. I haven't got the remotest idea of how to respond."
"Just walk some more," he said. "Have a nice time."
They started walking again.
"How did you expect me to react?" she said.
"How would I know what to expect?" he said. "I've never done anything like this before."
Did you think I would throw myself into your arms?" she said.
"Maybe," he said.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you," she said.
"I'm not disappointed," he said. "I wasn't counting on it. This is very nice, just walking."
Catharine stopped again. "You know what happens next?" she said.
"Nope," he said.
"We shake hands," she said. "We shake hands and part friends," she said. "That's what happens next."
Newt nodded. "All right," he said. "Remember me from time to time. Remember how much I loved you."
Involuntarily, Catharine burst into tears. She turned her back to Newt, looked into the infinate colonnade of the woods.
"What does that mean?" said Newt.
"Rage!" said Catharine. She clenched her hands. "You have no right--"
"I had to find out," he said.
"If I'd loved you," she said, "I would have let you know before now."
"You would?" he said.
"Yes," she said. She faced him, looked up at him, her face quite red. "You would have known," she said.
"How?" he said.
"You would have seen it," she said. "Women aren't very clever at hiding it."
Newt looked closely at Catharine's face now. To her consternation, she realized that what she had said was true, that a woman couldn't hide love.
Newt was seeing love now.
And he did what he had to do. He kissed her.

"You're hell to get along with!" she said when Newt let her go.
"I am?" said Newt.
"You shouldn't have done that," she said.
"You didn't like it?" he said.
"What did you expect," she said--"wild, adandoned passion?"
"I keep telling you," he said," I never know what's going to happen next."
"We say good-by," she said.
He frowned slightly. "All right," he said.
She made another speech. "I'm not sorry we kissed," she said. "That was sweet. We should have kissed, we've been so close. I'll always remember you , Newt, and good luck."
"You too," he said.
"Thirty days," he said.
"What?" she said.
"Thirty days in the stockade," he said--"that's what one kiss will cost me."
"I--I'm sorry," she said, "but I didn't ask you to go A.W.O.L."
"I know," he said.
"You certainly don't deserve any hero's reward for doing something as foolish as that," she said.
"Must be nice to be a hero," said Newt. "Is Henry Stewart Chasens a hero?"
"He might be, if he got the chance," said Catharine. She noted uneasily that they had begun to walk again. The farewell had been forgotten.
"You really love him?" he said.
"Certainly I love him!" she said hotly. "I wouldn't marry him if I didn't love him!"
"What's good about him?" said Newt.
"Honestly!" she cried, stopping again. "Do you have any idea how offensive you're being? Many, many, many things are good about Henry! Yes," she said, "and many, many, many things are probably bad, too. But that isn't any of your business. I love Henry, and I don't have to argue his merits with you!"
"Sorry," said Newt.
"Honestly!" said Catharine.
Newt kissed her again. He kissed her again because she wanted him to.

They were now in a large orchard.
"How did we get so far from home, Newt?" said Catharine.
"One foot in front of the other--through leaves, over bridges," said Newt.
"They add up--the steps," she said.
Bells rang in the tower of the school for the blind nearby.
"School for the blind," said Newt.
"School for the blind," said Catharine. She shook her head in drowsy wonder. "I've got to go back now," she said.
"Say good-by," said Newt.
"Every time I do," said Catharine, "I seem to get kissed."
Newt sat down on the close-cropped grass under an apple tree. "Sit down," he said.
"No," she said.
"I won't touch you," he said.
"I don't believe you," she said.
She sat down under another tree, twenty feet away from him. She closed her eyes.
"Dream of Henry Stewart Chasens," he said.
"What?" she said.
"Dream of your wonderful husband-to-be," he said.
"All right, I will," she said. She closed her eyes tighter, caught glimpses of her husband-to-be.
Newt yawned.
The bees were humming in the trees, and Catharine almost fell asleep. When she opened her eyes she saw that Newt really was asleep.
He began to snore softly.
Catharine let him sleep for an hour, and while he slept she adored him with all her heart.
The shadows of the apple trees grew to the east. The bells in the tower of the school for the blind rang again.
"*chick-a-dee-dee-dee*," went a chickadee.
Somewhere far away an automobile started nagged and failed, nagged and failed, fell still.
Catharine came out from under her tree, knelt by Newt.
"Newt?" she said.
"H'm?" he said. He opened his eyes.
"Late," she said.
"Hello, Catharine," he said.
"Hello, Newt," she said.
"I love you," he said.
"I know," she said.
"Too late," he said.
"Too late," she said.
He stood, stretched groaningly. "A very nice walk," he said.
"I thought so," she said.
"Part company here?" he said.
"Where will you go?" she said.
"Hitch into town, turn myself in," he said.
"Good luck," she said.
"You too," he said. "Marry me, Catharine?"
"No," she said.
He smiled, stared at her hard for a moment, then walked away quickly.
Catharine watched him grow smaller in the long perspective of shadows and trees, knew that if he stopped and turned now, if he called to her, she would run to him. She would have no choice.
Newt did stop. He did turn. He did call. "Catharine," he called.
She ran to him, put her arms aroud him, could not speak.

-- Long Walk to Forever, Kurt Vonnegut

*'Today' by the Smashing Pumpkins. To date: A car accident back in HS ( i wasn't driving), and 9/11 (a deer rammed my car), and countless bad days. I've since learned to either change the station, or stop singing along.

**UPDATE: Thursday is reaaally fucking with me. My boss walks up to my cube to "chat" - I was preoccupied with something on my desk. 5 minutes after 'chatting', I look up at my computer screen and what's on it? this:
. Great. Taken out of context, it's horrible (It's the CIA's pamphlets distributed in Nicaragua to help overthrow the government.) Taken within context – well, shit on me! He kinda glances at it and says nothing and walks away. Shoot me NOW.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Speed Test

see how fast your connection is.
OR watch a skeleton run inside a gear wheel.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Have you ever tried...

You type in a band or song name, and the site compiles music that are somehow related to whatever you put in and plays it for you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it's worth trying out.


Monday, December 05, 2005

America's Funniest Home videos?

Free video hosting, video codes at

Friday, December 02, 2005

Merkin this is for you

Dog food good for humans too!

Associated Press
Los Angeles, December 1, 2005

For actor Dick Van Patten, who played the patriarch on the 1980s television show Eight is Enough, some dog food is good enough to eat.

Van Patten is lending his name and likeness to a new dog food formula that claims to be indistinguishable from a home-cooked meal for humans.

To prove his point, Van Patten recently sampled the "Irish stew" recipe at a media luncheon.

"Not too bad," the actor said before offering a bite to his canine dining companion.

"Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Eatables for Dogs" comes in other people-friendly flavors such as spaghetti and meatballs, hobo chili and Chinese takeout.

It's designed with the health of pets in mind and marketed to humans as an alternative to feeding their pets table scraps, Natural Balance president Joey Herrick said.

The food will sell for $2.49 a can beginning on December 15.

Merkin.. maybe a good chirstmas/birthday gift a little over the 1$ tree amount...let me know what flavor you thinking the chinese takeout

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Who wants some disco fries at the Huck Finn?

Body in car may solve a mobster mystery
Police make grisly find at Union diner weeks after defendant in extortion trial vanished
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Star-Ledger Staff

A body found in the trunk of a car behind a Union County diner yesterday is believed to be that of a New Jersey mobster who vanished eight weeks ago in the middle of a Mafia-studded Brooklyn trial.

Lawrence Ricci, a reputed capo in the New Jersey branch of the Genovese crime family and a defendant in the fraud and extortion trial, disappeared in early October, sparking fears he had been killed by his gangland associates.

Yesterday, FBI agents told Ricci's family the body found in Union Township is probably that of the 60-year-old Essex County man, said New York lawyer Martin Schmukler, who represented Ricci at trial.

"The FBI says they believe it's him," Schmukler said. "They haven't made any definitive announcement yet, but they did tell that to a family member."

The Union County Prosecutor's Office and Union Township police declined comment, referring calls to the FBI in New York and the U.S. Attorney's Office in Brooklyn.

A federal law enforcement official who spoke on condition of anonymity confirmed Schmukler's account, saying more information would be released pending the completion of an autopsy.

The body was discovered in the trunk of a silver Acura behind the Huck Finn Diner on Morris Avenue, a busy, commerce-packed thoroughfare. The law enforcement official said the body was in an advanced state of decomposition and was not readily identifiable . . ."


people i've met at psytrance make it to vice mag

...from Vicemag's DON'Ts:
No, you are not hallucinating. Some wrinkly old turd brainwashed a woman into allowing his penis into her body because it’s “spiritual.” What is it about these “make up your own religion” guys where fucking a lot of young girls is always a crucial part of the “awakening.

which vicemag got every bit wrong. the 'wrinkly old turd' in question is maybe 60 and fit as a beast, and the 'young girl' is no spring chicken, but can do contortions like nobody's business.
cool peeps, too. pics from Halcyon: