Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
The Onion: Replacement Socialite Cunt Sought For Simple Life Cast
old news, but funny:
NEW YORK—Due to the falling out between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, producers of Fox's The Simple Life are continuing their search for the perfect spoiled, no-talent socialite cunt to step in for Richie. "It shouldn't be too hard to find another vapid, muddied cum-dumpster perpetually drunk on the jizz of trust-fund himbos," producer Jonathan Murray said. "Any million-dollar Bambi with a vast inheritance and no ambition will do, though gutter-sluts with coke-fueled pasts will be given special consideration." Murray added that "it doesn't matter if her pussy rattles when the wind blows—we can fix that in post."
The Onion
NEW YORK—Due to the falling out between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, producers of Fox's The Simple Life are continuing their search for the perfect spoiled, no-talent socialite cunt to step in for Richie. "It shouldn't be too hard to find another vapid, muddied cum-dumpster perpetually drunk on the jizz of trust-fund himbos," producer Jonathan Murray said. "Any million-dollar Bambi with a vast inheritance and no ambition will do, though gutter-sluts with coke-fueled pasts will be given special consideration." Murray added that "it doesn't matter if her pussy rattles when the wind blows—we can fix that in post."
The Onion
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Don't Call Me Crazy On The 4th Of July
Don't Call Me Crazy On The 4th Of July
mind control, conspiracies, teeth fillings, LSD, and lost mail....The Bob Lansberry Story. Short film/documentary is about 15-20 mins long.
Friday, May 27, 2005
GPS panties
Ever worry about your wife cheating?
Want to know where your daughter is late at night?
Need to know when your girlfriend's temperature is rising?
This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.
link
ROFLcopter attack!!!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Got an STD?
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Crying, while eating
"Estee"I want my CrushTV part 3: Chopped Up Frankengirls
There is a rather large consortium of men and women that have this burning desire to see what certain people would look like if they had been stitched together. It's a strange kink, but for some reason, it seems to work. Below, you'll find a collection of pictures that have been radically altered to give the reader a general idea of perhaps what this person would look like if they had been fashioned out of collected pieces.
L-i-n-k
Friday, May 20, 2005
Craziest
for those who live for the triple-triple
A short story by Liz Dubelman
Running time of 8:06
link to story
A short story by Liz Dubelman
Running time of 8:06
link to story
The Force is Cheesy
It's free, biyatch.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
All Natural (Frog) Cocktails
"We were checking the fridges when out jumped a frog,"
Apparently it's been the latest rave in Peru, they probably got tired of the traditional aphrodisiac (spanish fly) - so they came up with something of their own: live frog cocktails -
Frogolicious
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I want my CrushTV part II: Inanimate Objects
yet another niche fetish. yawn.
Is there anything left in the world that people don't fucking jerk off to??
smashmyphone.com
Is there anything left in the world that people don't fucking jerk off to??
smashmyphone.com
Thursday, May 12, 2005
bad link! bad!
missed connection
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
I wanna lick your boo boo
Bacon Strips BandagesFriday, May 06, 2005
tsk tsk tsk...
remember this one?
Temple. check. rising sun. check. oriental studies logo. check. hey... wait a second....
Instituto de Estudos Orientais
::thanks kent
Temple. check. rising sun. check. oriental studies logo. check. hey... wait a second....
Instituto de Estudos Orientais
::thanks kent
I want my CrushTV!
"Crush videos" depict insects or small animals being crushed, usually by women wearing spiked high heels and other fetishistic garb. This obscure genre and its tiny subculture have lately been targetted by animal rights activists, local prosecutors, even the U.S. Congress. The anti-crush video campaign raises difficult moral issues, pitting the humane treatment of animals against the principle of free speech and the rights of sexual minorities. The denunciation and prosecution of crush video producers is clearly about sexual squeamishness as well as animal rights.Link to more crushingly titillating text. Sorry no mpegs (Will post when i find some).
Thursday, May 05, 2005
HOTT. I WANT PICS.
My grown up daughter eats toilet paper!
I am extremely worried about my 24 year old daughter. We have discovered recently that she eats (yes eats!) approximately a whole toilet roll in a week. She has been doing it secretly for over 10 years! She does not appear to have any side affects but surely it can’t be good for her. Obviously counselling is probably the answer but what is she doing to her insides? Please help answer this query, the whole family is stunned, even her two children know that she does this!"
I am extremely worried about my 24 year old daughter. We have discovered recently that she eats (yes eats!) approximately a whole toilet roll in a week. She has been doing it secretly for over 10 years! She does not appear to have any side affects but surely it can’t be good for her. Obviously counselling is probably the answer but what is she doing to her insides? Please help answer this query, the whole family is stunned, even her two children know that she does this!"
remember...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Merkin's Song of the Moment
updated whenever i fucking feel like it. (today sucks, like you can't tell). enfuckingjoy:
Please Don't Go Topless, Mother Mama Don't Go Topless.mp3 via boingboing
Please Don't Go Topless, Mother Mama Don't Go Topless.mp3 via boingboing
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
How many 5 year olds can you take?
Now, there are rules, which are as follows:
1. You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
2. You are not allowed to touch a wall.
3. When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
4. Someone intent on seeing to it you fail gets to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
5. The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
6. There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
7. The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
link
Monday, May 02, 2005
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